five years and counting.

This sunday will be my boys fifth birthday. It is so hard to believe that they are turning five. Right now, of every year i recall what i was going through and every thing since. I am calling it this year, my happy depression. I am still very out of sorts with it being my child's birthday, but i am very happy this year. So much has happened.

They are talking much better. They write! they freaking write letters, truly an amazing thing to witness. They are fully potty trained with the exception that Az had an accident in bed. So sad but its all right. Its just once. They are thoughtful! so thoughtful. And amazingly loving.

they also have personality! crazy personality. They are mean too. so mean sometimes. They are much better than i was at that age. They are strong. Strong willed.

I am sad though. My mom doesn't see what wonderfulness there is. So we'll keep going. and hopefully she will see. But in the mean time they are turning five!

Honestly I never thought that they would make it to age five. you know the saying...you won't live to see your fifth birthday. well here that milestone is. Today was the day in 2006 that my doctor told me that i would HAVE to have a c-section. I had pre-eclampsia. The day after...the 12th is... was possibly the worst day in my entire life. Waiting all day to eat a single morsel for the fear that i would be in surgery that very next day. I remember calling my doctor that day at like 3:59 and begging them to say i can eat... They pushed it back to monday...their birthday... May 15th. I remember walking in. and how scared i was, and HUNGRY... mainly hungry. lol. Then the boys...imma stop now before i cry. more later. ttyl